" I want to tell him that nothing that is beautiful & good comes without struggle, that struggle tells us what something is worth, that things scare us only when they have more meaning than we ever thought a thing could have. I want to explain to him how difficult it must be for a soft seedling to break through the hard dirt of spring, but how it does it anyway & sprouts & flowers & that my love is like sunshine & he is a violet trying to fight growth, trying to revolt against blooming within us, within my light, that he would rather stay in the dark & why, why, why. God, I want to ask him why. I would let him destroy me. I am letting him destroy me. I am open wide & loving him with all that I have while hoping beyond hope that it will be enough. "